The Melbourne Tour Guide

Dandenong Ranges Okay so let’s get one thing straight. There’s Mount Dandenong and then... there’s Dandenong. Sydney and Coff’s are different Harbours, Homer and Ojay are different Simpson’s, and if you’re kids are asking about a “Mr Harris” you’d better hope they’re talking about a “Neil Patrick” and not a “Rolf”. You see just as People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive 2000 is veeeeery different to your mate Brad and his hair “Pitts”, the word “Mount” determines exactly how “Dandy” your “Nongs” will be. Mount Dandenong, is a stunning little village nestled away in the eastern hills of Melbourne, renowned for its picturesque scenery, award winning restaurants and tea rooms, and the colourful characters who reside in its hill-sloped homes. Dandenong (think “Baby Tries Vegetime” facial expression) is a nearby suburb renowned for its syringe museum, a 24 hour Centrelink, and booming home security industry. One, is a foggy mountain range guarded by a real life Wizard - The other is a...